Who am I? In Spanish vs. English

Who am I? It is one of those deep and complicated questions that we have asked ourselves at least once in our lives. (Some of us hundreds or even thousands of times) As we get older our responses to this question change and they become modified. Sometimes we identify ourselves by our gender or our sexual orientation. Other times our identity is molded by our nationality or our ethnicity. And finally some of us identify ourselves by our professions. However, these are more like our titles, our physical appearances, and our features that are formed by our biological and gentic makeup.

I believe that our life experiences and the relationships we create throughout our lives can become a part of our identity too. They can help give us a new perspective of our world and where we stand in it.

But I have to wonder... do the impressions we make change when we are speaking a different language? Is that really possible? Or can we even know for sure? If so, how different do we seem. I have been told that I speak differently when I speak in English than when I am speaking in Spanish. My pitch is distinct in each language.

Learning another language in it self has been an amazing experience. Sometimes I don't even know how to describe it. I cannot believe that I can think, speak, write, and even dream in two languages. Sometimes my brain gets confused. I find myself saying phrases in English to my host brothers or host parents. I don't really know why... It is like the words just slip out. Or other times I catch myself trying to say something in both English and Spanish at the same time. Crazy right?!

I am actually really curious to know how I sound to the Chileans here when I am speaking Spanish. I have been told I speak well. haha Of course that is nice to hear. I have also been told that I don't have a distinct "gringo" accent. HOWEVER, hahaha my host brother Tomás always gives me a hard time. He teases me for having a "gringo" accent. I don't know if I will ever pass as a Chilean, in his opinion, when I speak Spanish. I think it will be pretty hard to leave that "gringo" accent completely, but I am trying to speak like the Chileans here. I feel like that is part of the experience. I have skyped with some family friends from home and they have told me I am picking up the "Chilean accent." I don't know about that. Maybe it just sounds distinct from a Mexican accent. hahaha

I have also learned that LANGUAGE can assist you in your self-discovery or it can be a barrier. I feel like you have the power to make this decision for yourself. In the last few years I have improved my Spanish and now I am starting to consider it my second language. Trying to express yourself in a new language is definitely a learning experience. Sometimes it is strange because you want to express your feelings in a certain way but you struggle to find a specific phrase. Sometimes you have to settle for something similiar.Sometimes I feel like I can say everything I want in Spanish and other times I can feel that I am limited by the words I can use. I have decided that this is all part of the learning experience. I am ready for anything and everything that Chile has to offer me.

Take care! I will write more soon! xoxo

Jenna