Who am I? In Spanish vs. English

Who am I? It is one of those deep and complicated questions that we have asked ourselves at least once in our lives. (Some of us hundreds or even thousands of times) As we get older our responses to this question change and they become modified. Sometimes we identify ourselves by our gender or our sexual orientation. Other times our identity is molded by our nationality or our ethnicity. And finally some of us identify ourselves by our professions. However, these are more like our titles, our physical appearances, and our features that are formed by our biological and gentic makeup.

I believe that our life experiences and the relationships we create throughout our lives can become a part of our identity too. They can help give us a new perspective of our world and where we stand in it.

But I have to wonder... do the impressions we make change when we are speaking a different language? Is that really possible? Or can we even know for sure? If so, how different do we seem. I have been told that I speak differently when I speak in English than when I am speaking in Spanish. My pitch is distinct in each language.

Learning another language in it self has been an amazing experience. Sometimes I don't even know how to describe it. I cannot believe that I can think, speak, write, and even dream in two languages. Sometimes my brain gets confused. I find myself saying phrases in English to my host brothers or host parents. I don't really know why... It is like the words just slip out. Or other times I catch myself trying to say something in both English and Spanish at the same time. Crazy right?!

I am actually really curious to know how I sound to the Chileans here when I am speaking Spanish. I have been told I speak well. haha Of course that is nice to hear. I have also been told that I don't have a distinct "gringo" accent. HOWEVER, hahaha my host brother Tomás always gives me a hard time. He teases me for having a "gringo" accent. I don't know if I will ever pass as a Chilean, in his opinion, when I speak Spanish. I think it will be pretty hard to leave that "gringo" accent completely, but I am trying to speak like the Chileans here. I feel like that is part of the experience. I have skyped with some family friends from home and they have told me I am picking up the "Chilean accent." I don't know about that. Maybe it just sounds distinct from a Mexican accent. hahaha

I have also learned that LANGUAGE can assist you in your self-discovery or it can be a barrier. I feel like you have the power to make this decision for yourself. In the last few years I have improved my Spanish and now I am starting to consider it my second language. Trying to express yourself in a new language is definitely a learning experience. Sometimes it is strange because you want to express your feelings in a certain way but you struggle to find a specific phrase. Sometimes you have to settle for something similiar.Sometimes I feel like I can say everything I want in Spanish and other times I can feel that I am limited by the words I can use. I have decided that this is all part of the learning experience. I am ready for anything and everything that Chile has to offer me.

Take care! I will write more soon! xoxo

Jenna

Gringa vs. Chilena. The life of a tourist.

First of all I want to encourage all of you to TRAVEL. I can't stress enough how much you will learn and gain from your experiences abroad. Some of my friends think I am crazy to be living here in Chile for 5 months! So if that sounds insane to you then you don't have to commit to something so extreme. But seriously, I think that it is one of the best ways to put yourself out there in the world. If you are reading this and you are a student of some kind try and study abroad. Anywhere! =) Change your environment for a summer, a semester or even a year! And most importantly, escape your comfort zone!!

Gather up the courage to break the safety bubble surrounding you. Sometimes it is easy to become so caught up in our personal lives that we forget about the rest of the world, waiting to be explored. Honestly, I don't think that television or the internet does justice to so many of the amazing parts of this earth. My family just went to Peru and visited Machu Picchu. I was just looking through their photos and it looks amazing, but after doing some traveling of my own I know that it probably so much more breathtaking in person. As a tourist you are given the opportunity to learn about other cultures, languages, people, and customs. You are able to share some of your culture with others as well. Usually people are as equally interested in learning about you and your customs. However, these experiences will also offer you the opportunity to learn a lot more about yourself. Self-evaluation is really important too.

As a tourist you have to make a decision. Do you live the life of a tourist during your stay? Or do you want to try your best to live like the locals and blend in? Now, I think there are a variety of options between these two extremes, but this is the blunt question you need to ask yourself before any trip. My dad who also writes a blog captured this idea perfectly, so I am going to quote him a little bit. He said that we have this, "overwhelming tendency to seek comfort in things we know and trust. In the extreme, when abroad, we stay at the Hilton hotels, get coffee at starbucks, and never try to utter a word other than English." Thanks dad! But it's so true! Sometimes we go to such extremes what is the point to even travel. If you are going to stay in a 5 star hotel and only live the luxurious life. Then stay home hahaha. At least in my opinion. Because you will miss so much!

For me I wanted the FULL Chile experience. Well almost =P. As best as I could. As some of you know I am living with a Chilean family. I am trying to take classes with mostly Chileans. haha and ALL of my classes here are completely in Spanish! I know it's kind of crazy, but so far I'm surviving. I am trying my best to fit in. Trying to be more of the Chilena than the really obvious Gringa. hahaha. I am really happen with my decision to come back to Chile for a semester. Some of my friends did not understand why I wanted to go back to the same country. And they are right, there is still a lot of the world I need to explore. And I plan to. Eventually. But this trip was really for me. I wanted time to learn about myself as well as another country.

My goals:

-learn more spanish! I want to be close to fluent!

-travel! I want to see more of Chile and more of South America.

-meet more Chileans and make new friends!

-Enjoy life here.

I have been thinking alot about my choice to come here, and I honestly have no regrets so far!

That is all I have for you right now. Talk to all soon.